


Christmas Morning

by thefishismine



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Christmas Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 09:02:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4385855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefishismine/pseuds/thefishismine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Lister and Rimmer's first Christmas together as a couple. Lister is determined to make the first part of their day special, despite their circumstance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas Morning

**Author's Note:**

> I had the sudden urge to write a Christmas-themed fic in July. Don't ask me why.

Rimmer was in the middle of a peaceful slumber. He was quite enjoying the dream he was having about a cow grazing in a sunny pasture. It was his least terrifying recurring dream. He would have been sure it had a deeper meaning if he believed in any of that smeg. As far as he was concerned, dream journals were for hippies and the extremely naive. He had better, more important things to analyze, such as his Risk campaign book. 

Suddenly, the ground began to shake in the pasture and the cow toppled over. Rimmer began to panic and awoke suddenly. He nearly had the fright of his life when he saw Lister, half on top of him, staring into his eyes. 

“Sorry, love, I didn’t mean to scare ya.” Lister leaned down and gave Rimmer a gentle kiss. “Do you know what day it is?” 

Rimmer thought for a moment. “Thursday?”

“Well, yeah. But besides that.”

Rimmer was silent. It was too early for this. 

“Come on, you’ve got to know! It’s your boyfriend’s favorite day of the year…”

“Half priced shami kebabs at the Taj Mahal?”

Lister gave him a playful slap on the arm. He stood up and walked over to the clock next to Rimmer’s bunk. Rimmer yawned, pulling the blanket around his shoulders. 

“December the 25th! I know you weren’t born on Earth, but come on, man.”

“That right? Merry Christmas, then.” Rimmer rolled over so his back was turned to Lister.

“Oh no, you’re getting up and we are going to have a fun day.” 

Lister yanked the blanket off of Rimmer and he groaned in protest. “No, it’s too early…”

“Well, well, how the tables have turned. Usually you're the one who's dragging me out of bed. Come on, up with ya.” 

Lister grabbed hold of Rimmer’s arm and pulled him to a sitting position. Rimmer groaned again and slowly stood, rubbing his eyes. 

“Aren’t you a little old to be this excited about Christmas? It’s not like Santa Claus flew out to space just for us or anything.”

“Nah, man, you’re never too old to enjoy a holiday. Come on, I’ve got a surprise for you. And you can take that look off your face for a start.”

Lister grabbed Rimmer’s hand and led him towards the galley. As soon as they were in the doorway Rimmer stopped dead in his tracks. The kitchen counters were covered with mounds of whipped cream. 

“Uh, Listy…”

“Do you like it? I couldn’t find anything else that looked like snow. This was the best I could do in the time. I thought about leaving the freezer open to add to the effect but then the food would melt. I practically had to barricade the door to keep Kryten out. He kept wanting to clean it up.”

He grinned at Rimmer, and despite the fact that he was still in disbelief that Lister had emptied God knows how many whipped cream cans all over the kitchen, Rimmer smiled back. 

“It’s lovely, thank you.” Rimmer gave Lister a kiss on the cheek. 

“We’re just getting started,” Lister said excitedly. He handed Rimmer a mug of coffee. Rimmer cautiously took a sip. An overwhelming flavor of cinnamon assaulted his taste buds. He tried not to wrinkle his nose in disgust. 

“I did the best I could with what was here. I thought cinnamon was a nice Christmas-y flavor. I know there’s other spices they put in eggnog, I just couldn’t remember the names. I don’t think we have any of that stuff anyway.” Lister gave a small shrug. Rimmer nodded and took another sip, hoping it would taste a bit better this time. He was very disappointed. He was a little nauseated to see Lister pouring more cinnamon into his own mug before taking a long drink. 

“I think I’ll save it for later. Have it over ice.” Rimmer placed his mug down on the little piece of counter that was still clean. 

“Suit yourself. Let’s go to the drive room. I think you’ll like what’s in there.”

Rimmer followed behind Lister, a bit reluctantly. On the console was a crudely fashioned tree-shaped structure held together with duct tape. A variety of the Cat’s earrings were placed on the structure as decoration. At first Rimmer couldn’t tell what the tree was made out of. 

“It’s a Christmas tree made from your shoe trees. I thought it would be clever,” Lister said, proud of himself. Rimmer’s initial instinct was to get angry, but he held back.

“Did you do this all while I was asleep?”

“Yeah. You’re a heavy sleeper.” 

Rimmer was silent for a moment. 

“Ah, smeg,” Lister said softly.

“What?”

“I tried to do something nice for you, to make today special. I know you’re not big on holidays. But I’ve smegged it up.”

Lister sat down at his chair in the drive room, looking dejected. 

“No you didn’t…”

“Yes I did. I completely smegged it up. I should know you better, you don’t like this kind of thing. I’m sorry for ruining your day, Rimmer.”

Hearing the sadness in his partner’s voice broke Rimmer’s heart. He sat down next to Lister and spun around to face him. He grabbed both of Lister’s hands in his own. 

“You didn’t ruin anything. Look at me.”

Lister brought his eyes up to meet Rimmer’s. 

“Christmas was never a cause for joy in my family. We didn’t indulge in snowball fights or eggnog or caroling or any of that smeg. So if I seem a bit put off by this holiday, or any other holiday, then I’m sorry. I can tell it means a lot to you. Never before has anyone wanted to share their joy and excitement with me. It’s a little overwhelming, knowing you care so much.” Rimmer caressed Lister’s knuckles with his thumbs. “Now, would I have gone about it this way? No, I wouldn’t have made such a mess. But that’s me, and I can’t expect you to be exactly like me. So thank you for showing me what Christmas morning means to Dave   
Lister.” 

Lister leaned in and kissed Rimmer deeply. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Out of curiosity, how many cans of whipped cream did you use?”

“Four. They make you think there’s a lot more in those cans than there actually is. And, you have to admit, the shoe tree was clever.”

“Yes, did it take you all night to come up with that one?”

“Smeghead.” 

Rimmer kept hold of Lister’s hand and turned to look out of Starbug's window. He let out a long sigh. “Merry Christmas, darling. Our first one together, as a couple, and hopefully not our last.”

“Ditto. I promise, we’ll have a proper Christmas one day. With a real tree and winter snow and actual eggnog.” Lister squeezed his hand.

“Just look on the bright side, Listy. You don’t have to go to any of this trouble for New Year’s.”

“Don’t worry, babe. I’ve got plenty planned for us that night. Only trouble is we’re down to our last two cans of whipped cream, it’ll never be enough.”


End file.
